We met the IPs!!
It was 2 weeks ago (Scot and I have been on vacation this week - sorry this post is a bit delayed) but the day came around that we had briefly talked about meeting for the first time if all the tests went well. Since everything was cleared, the agency sent me all of the IP's contact info and sent them the same for me. The IF (Intended Father) emailed me shortly after, worried that he had not made any reservations anywhere. I suggested we do something simple like meet for dessert or ice cream. I thought it would be less pressure than a long dinner for our first meeting... He said he can't say no to ice cream! I couldn't agree more!
San Francisco is known for some darn good ice cream, so we had some options. We were hoping for one that might have a small table to sit and chat. We decided on Bi-Rite Creamery in the Mission District. Parking was a challenge, but we found something a few blocks away and walked down 18th street with butterflies swirling around my stomach. Mostly excited and a bit nervous, we were first to arrive. As we were sitting out front to wait for them, they pulled up and the IM (Intended Mother) hopped out of their car so he could park. Once we were all together, my nerves quickly melted away as I realized how warm and easygoing they were! Conversation came easy and it seemed like we were all excited to get to know one another. We chit-chatted in the long line for our ice cream and then luckily found a cozy table to talk more. We covered all of the basic "where are you from?", "how many siblings do you have?", etc... we swapped stories of our journeys up to this point and even shared some similar frustrations with other surrogacy agencies we had each dealt with prior to finding the one we were matched through. We came to the conclusion that this must have been "meant to be" - and that is exactly what I had been hoping for all along. I knew the right couple would come along at the right time. Funny how things happen that way.
So excited to get this process rolling. They will be using an egg donor, so once they confirm that (last I heard was that they had selected one but it was not finalized), then the donor and I will need to get our cycles in sync using birth control pills. I have been told that the pills, along with all of the other medication I will need to take, will be sent to me. I love getting packages!! :)
Monday, July 23, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Hurry Up, Then Wait... Then Hurry Up Again
Wow, I have not written over three months! That is simply because there was nothing to report for a while... an now, so much has happened in just a few weeks! Just to let you know how the last thing ended (the Chicago couple) - the agency ended up dropping them due to "lack of communication". Maybe they got cold feet? Perhaps they got matched with another agency or were able to adopt. In any case, I suppose it was not meant to be and I hope only the best for them in the future.
Right after that, I was told that there were a few other couples looking at my profile - so, naturally, I got excited.... and then nothing...for almost 2 months. I waited until a 4 weeks ago to write the agency. I always feel like I'm bothering them. I don't want to be a nag. They were very kind and said I was no bother at all. They said they did not have any couples at that time that were close like I had originally wanted, but that they did have 8 other couples still waiting for a match. Those words kept echoing in my head - "8 couples still waiting....". I thought "How long have they been waiting? What if it's been a long time?". Of course, I couldn't let it go, so I asked them to send me some profiles of the IPs that were waiting so we could read them. They sent over 4 different couples - one in Los Angeles (which I thought would be great because it's not too long of a flight), one in Texas, one in Arkansas and one in...... Spain! I barely opened the one from Spain - I knew I would be willing to look further than before - but not THAT far! We started reading the one from the couple in Los Angeles. We decided very quickly that we did not have a good feeling about them because they had barely been together for 2 years. We were hoping for a couple more established & secure. We ended up really liking the couples in Arkansas and Texas! To be honest, we really fell in love with the Arkansas couple, so I told the agency, and after an agonizing week of waiting we were told that they decided to go with a surrogate closer to their area. I was crushed! I had gotten too attached. I then told the agency that we would be willing to talk to the Texas couple. After waiting another week for that response, we thought perhaps we should seek an agency closer to home. When I originally signed-up with this agency in Texas, I was lead to believe that they deal with a lot of IPs from California and it wouldn't be too difficult to be matched, however it was becoming very clear that it might be easier to deal with a local company. I feel terrible that all of the work my coordinators from the Texas agency did is now for nothing, but I hope they understand.
I found a new agency based in Southern California. I filled-out the initial contact form & application. I was emailed almost immediately. Apparently, the head coordinator had just met with some IPs right here in San Francisco! If it worked out that we were a good match, then this had the potential to go really quite well! I filled out the loads of other paperwork and sent photos, etc... things moved rather quickly, which was exciting. We received their profile and really liked them. I was told that they really liked us as well - that we seemed like people they would be friends with anyway! What a good feeling. Soon, a phone interview was set-up with the IPs, the agency coordinator and myself. I was super nervous, but once I got on the call, I felt much better. The IPs were super easy going and I enjoyed their sense of humor. They seemed like they would be fairly laid-back through the whole process - that they would not be breathing down my neck during the pregnancy with instructions or "dos & do not's". We each shared our stories of what brought us to surrogacy and our expectations for the process. We were all excited to take the next few steps.
It was ideal for me to get into the fertility clinic for screening within a week after the phone call because I happened to be within my ovulation window and they needed to check my uterine lining. **If I have now grossed you out, you should probably stop reading this blog. I imagine it can only get worse. :) I gave you all fair warning in my first post - "Disclaimer: I will try to be as honest as possible. This means: A) Discussion of the scientific process behind it all and the female reproductive system - and all that goes along with pregnancy and childbirth..."** - I hope that this blog will be somewhat informational to anyone thinking about being a Surrogate (Gestational Carrier) in the future.
Sooo... after the clinic looked over my medical records and pre-approved me, they called me yesterday (a Thursday) to schedule my appointment. After realizing that the following day (today - a Friday) would be the last day within my ovulation window, they quickly figured out how to squeeze me in. They not only squeezed me in for a 1 hour exam appointment, they configured a 3.5 hour window that allowed me to complete: the 325-or-so questioned psychological exam (tests were normal, by the way - in case you ever wondered about me;)), meet with a live person for a preliminary psych exam, blood & urine tests, nurse consult to explain all of the medicine I will need to take as well as show me how to give myself the shots AND see a doctor for an exam and ultrasound. The doctor also did what they called a "mock embryo transfer". I was told that he simply inserted a catheter to check my uterus and that was exactly how the embryos will be transferred. I did not feel a thing!! All tests looked great and as strange as it sounds, the nurse was actually very excited about the thickness of my uterine lining. I never thought I would be proud of my uterine lining. Giving myself a firm pat on the back for that one.
Next up:
- blood tests for Scot
- fasting glucose test for me
- wait for the agency to exchange contact info between the IPs and myself (they were waiting until all of my tests from today came back clear - just so we didn't start forming a relationship in case there was a problem and then get let down)
- wait for the IPs to find an egg donor
Right after that, I was told that there were a few other couples looking at my profile - so, naturally, I got excited.... and then nothing...for almost 2 months. I waited until a 4 weeks ago to write the agency. I always feel like I'm bothering them. I don't want to be a nag. They were very kind and said I was no bother at all. They said they did not have any couples at that time that were close like I had originally wanted, but that they did have 8 other couples still waiting for a match. Those words kept echoing in my head - "8 couples still waiting....". I thought "How long have they been waiting? What if it's been a long time?". Of course, I couldn't let it go, so I asked them to send me some profiles of the IPs that were waiting so we could read them. They sent over 4 different couples - one in Los Angeles (which I thought would be great because it's not too long of a flight), one in Texas, one in Arkansas and one in...... Spain! I barely opened the one from Spain - I knew I would be willing to look further than before - but not THAT far! We started reading the one from the couple in Los Angeles. We decided very quickly that we did not have a good feeling about them because they had barely been together for 2 years. We were hoping for a couple more established & secure. We ended up really liking the couples in Arkansas and Texas! To be honest, we really fell in love with the Arkansas couple, so I told the agency, and after an agonizing week of waiting we were told that they decided to go with a surrogate closer to their area. I was crushed! I had gotten too attached. I then told the agency that we would be willing to talk to the Texas couple. After waiting another week for that response, we thought perhaps we should seek an agency closer to home. When I originally signed-up with this agency in Texas, I was lead to believe that they deal with a lot of IPs from California and it wouldn't be too difficult to be matched, however it was becoming very clear that it might be easier to deal with a local company. I feel terrible that all of the work my coordinators from the Texas agency did is now for nothing, but I hope they understand.
I found a new agency based in Southern California. I filled-out the initial contact form & application. I was emailed almost immediately. Apparently, the head coordinator had just met with some IPs right here in San Francisco! If it worked out that we were a good match, then this had the potential to go really quite well! I filled out the loads of other paperwork and sent photos, etc... things moved rather quickly, which was exciting. We received their profile and really liked them. I was told that they really liked us as well - that we seemed like people they would be friends with anyway! What a good feeling. Soon, a phone interview was set-up with the IPs, the agency coordinator and myself. I was super nervous, but once I got on the call, I felt much better. The IPs were super easy going and I enjoyed their sense of humor. They seemed like they would be fairly laid-back through the whole process - that they would not be breathing down my neck during the pregnancy with instructions or "dos & do not's". We each shared our stories of what brought us to surrogacy and our expectations for the process. We were all excited to take the next few steps.
It was ideal for me to get into the fertility clinic for screening within a week after the phone call because I happened to be within my ovulation window and they needed to check my uterine lining. **If I have now grossed you out, you should probably stop reading this blog. I imagine it can only get worse. :) I gave you all fair warning in my first post - "Disclaimer: I will try to be as honest as possible. This means: A) Discussion of the scientific process behind it all and the female reproductive system - and all that goes along with pregnancy and childbirth..."** - I hope that this blog will be somewhat informational to anyone thinking about being a Surrogate (Gestational Carrier) in the future.
Sooo... after the clinic looked over my medical records and pre-approved me, they called me yesterday (a Thursday) to schedule my appointment. After realizing that the following day (today - a Friday) would be the last day within my ovulation window, they quickly figured out how to squeeze me in. They not only squeezed me in for a 1 hour exam appointment, they configured a 3.5 hour window that allowed me to complete: the 325-or-so questioned psychological exam (tests were normal, by the way - in case you ever wondered about me;)), meet with a live person for a preliminary psych exam, blood & urine tests, nurse consult to explain all of the medicine I will need to take as well as show me how to give myself the shots AND see a doctor for an exam and ultrasound. The doctor also did what they called a "mock embryo transfer". I was told that he simply inserted a catheter to check my uterus and that was exactly how the embryos will be transferred. I did not feel a thing!! All tests looked great and as strange as it sounds, the nurse was actually very excited about the thickness of my uterine lining. I never thought I would be proud of my uterine lining. Giving myself a firm pat on the back for that one.
Next up:
- blood tests for Scot
- fasting glucose test for me
- wait for the agency to exchange contact info between the IPs and myself (they were waiting until all of my tests from today came back clear - just so we didn't start forming a relationship in case there was a problem and then get let down)
- wait for the IPs to find an egg donor
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