"My New Layer" - Aren't we all made up of a multitude of layers? Each and every one of our individual relationships with people is what makes us who we are. Family, friends, colleagues, etc. Each bond we share with another human being effects who we are. Take our "titles" for example. I am a proud Wife, Mother, Stepmother, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Niece, Cousin, Friend and Colleague. I have chosen to add one more title and layer to what makes me who I am. 'Surrogate Mother'. I believe it can only enrich me and make me grow in all of the ways a human being should grow. I always try to empathize with others and give what I can of myself to help someone in need. I believe in doing so, we truly get to experience some of the greatest gifts of all. What greater gift than to help bring life into this world that is truly wanted and loved LONG before it is ever even created? To help a couple who have already suffered extreme heartache while trying to grow their family and to help them discover the deep and unique love only a child can bring - would be such an amazing opportunity.
I will start by saying "No, I am not giving my baby away!". I have chosen to become a Gestational Surrogate. This means that the Intended Mother's egg (or Egg Donor's) and the Intended Father's sperm are used to create an embryo and then implanted in me. This is actually the only legal way it is done in California. I will just be giving a baby a nice, warm cozy home for about 9 (isn't it technically 10?) months. I truly enjoyed my own pregnancies - I loved them! I felt great being pregnant. They were both fairly easy, and I had super quick labors & deliveries. Perhaps I was meant to do this. :)
Allow me to explain how I came to this new and exciting decision & journey. This all started a little over a year ago, when my cousin and his wife were having a difficult time keeping a pregnancy after a couple of rounds of IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). Wanting to give them privacy and space, I didn't want to ask too many questions, so I don't actually know what the issue was. My heart ached for them though. I couldn't help but feel almost guilty - I never had a problem getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term. I looked at my two healthy, beautiful children and felt so blessed - I couldn't imagine life without them and I wanted to share that feeling with everyone! I wondered if there was a way I could help. I thought 'if only I could carry their baby for them'. Then it hit me - people actually do that! Surrogacy. I had heard of it, but knew nothing about it. I did a little research and determined I could handle it. Ok, I did a lot of research - I tend to obsess about things once I get an idea in my head. :) I broached the subject to my husband. Not surprisingly, he was immediately on-board. I am blessed with such a loving, caring and supportive husband. He said "If you think you can do it, honey, then I am with you 100%.". So I had a conversation with my cousin and I threw it out there. I had no idea if they even needed it, but I wanted them to know that the option was there if they chose to take it. I hoped that even just having options would bring them peace and hope.
They decided to try one more round of IVF on their own and it was a success! Woo Hoo!! They are doing great and their new bundle will be here in almost a month! So happy for them. Something was still tugging me in the Surrogacy direction though. Like I said, once I get an idea in my head, I have a hard time just dropping it. Could I do it for someone else? How many other deserving couples are out there just waiting for a glimmer of hope? Was this a sort of "calling" for me? There's only one way to find out.
I have submitted my (extensive) application to an agency that matches "like minded" Surrogates and "Intended Parents" (who I will from now on refer to as Surros & IPs). Along with my application, copies of my driver's license, social security card and insurance card, a list of my insurance exclusions and limitations and signed consent forms for a background check and a psychological exam. Whew! I am now waiting for them to schedule a consultation with me on the phone. Once that, the background check and exams are out of the way, I assume they can begin showing my profile to IPs they think I will match well with. So, now I am just waiting.... I'm not the biggest fan of waiting; patience has never been a virtue of mine. Partly impatience, partly excitement - I'm just so eager to see what this journey holds for me!
I will keep you (whoever is listening?) posted along the journey. Disclaimer: I will try to be as honest as possible. This means:
A) Discussion of the scientific process behind it all and the female reproductive system - and all that goes along with pregnancy and childbirth.
B) I'm sure there will be glorious triumphs along the way as well as challenging times. I will be honest about my feelings during the entire process. I'm sure I will be hormonal. I'm sure I will feel "down" at times. These times are inevitable. They will not take away from the ultimate goal and my feelings about wanting to travel this road.
Here goes nothing! :)
Valentine
