Down to the wire!

Well, I got the appointment time for the day 5 transfer - 8:00am TOMORROW! Woo Hoo! When I was there on Tuesday to get my final check, they had already extracted the donor's eggs and the nurse told me that they got a lot of eggs, which was great, so it looked more likely for a day 5 transfer. I was not really counting on the day 3 transfer. Instructions for the appointment are just to arrive 15 minutes early and come with a half-full bladder. They said it should take no more than 30 minutes.

I have a high tolerance for pain, but boy, am I sore! Up to a few days ago, the injections had been going fine. I had no side effects and they really weren't painful. Then I started progesterone and now I know why anyone who has gone through IVF looks at me with a sympathetic eye when we talk about the shots! The injections leave me sore in the "upper bum" area - sore to the touch like a huge bruise, sore to sit, lay & walk. We alternate sides each day, but they never really heal in-between so it's a constant uncomfort. The medicine creates these "knots" under the skin and the nurse said they can be massaged but it hurts to touch it too much. I'm not trying to complain for sympathy's sake, but just to give anyone who has never gone through it an honest report. :)

I am so excited for tomorrow! Slightly nervous, but mostly excited! I keep thinking how surreal it all is and how it seems like it took forever to get to this point (so much more so for the IPs!) yet I can't believe it's already here! It's strange to actually know I will walk out of the clinic totally changed. My contact (case worker) at the agency has been checking in with me and she said something so beautiful (she has been a surrogate before and is now pregnant for another set of IPs) - she said "I love transfers - they are so beautiful, its the most amazing feeling when those embryos are brought into the room and you know it's life being put into you body." That gave me chills!

The IPs will be at the transfer as well as my amazing husband, Scot. Today is his birthday and I'm sure there's nothing he would rather do on his birthday weekend besides take care of me on light bed rest for a whole day. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY!! LOVE YOU! :)

Big Week!

Big things are happening here! As we get closer to the Transfer Day there has been a lot more monitoring. I have had several vials of blood taken from my arm to make sure my dosage of the meds are on-track as well as a few trips in the good ol' stirrups to check my uterine lining. Last check was Friday and I go again tomorrow (Tuesday). When I went on Friday the doctor said that anything over "8" was good. Not sure what "8" exactly measures, but I was at 14.4!! Woo hoo!

Look at that cute bootie over the stirrup. :) 

I was told to take my last dose of Lupron last night and to start Progesterone tonight. Progesterone supports the lining of the uterus and is needed to maintain an early pregnancy.

I will probably be more informed tomorrow in detail, but what I have been told so far is that they are extracting the donor's eggs tomorrow and they will be fertilized tomorrow as well. They will do either a day 3 transfer or a day 5 transfer. From what I understand, if the embryos are weak at day 3, they will want to go ahead and transfer them right away... if they are strong, then they will wait 2 more days and transfer 5 days after fertilization. From what I have read, many doctors believe that chances of a successful pregnancy are good for either day. 

And... just for a laugh... I saw this on Pinterest and couldn't resist. :)

"...we are all connected"

I just wanted to share this excerpt from the blog of my surrogacy agency; West Coast Surrogacy (whom I love, by the way). This was posted on the recent anniversary of 9/11 and it really touched me. This describes exactly how I feel about why I am doing what I am doing.

Maybe it's because we've all been through a rough ride together the past few years.  Maybe it is the lingering effects of our shared wound from September 11.  Maybe it is concern for the care of our planet and its citizens.  Whatever the reason, people are helping people more than ever.

David Handschuh/News--From New York Daily News Online

Take gestational surrogacy.  Despite what may be portrayed in popular culture and also tossed around as theory ("Selfish celebs use surrogates to save their own bodies!") we have found in talking to the women who call or write our office, interested to know about being a surrogate, that their motivation is to help someone.  They found it easy and so rewarding to become pregnant and to carry their own children.  They are moved by what they see and hear from other women who can't become pregnant, can't carry a baby to term, and can't create the family they always dreamed of.  And they want to help.

Today, on the anniversary of the tragedy of September 11, we reflect on what we experienced when those towers fell.  We remember the people who lost their lives.  We are grateful for what we have and we practice random acts of kindness to those who have less.  We acknowledge that we are all connected.

One hope I have in taking this journey is that it will teach my children to be empathetic & benevolent. I want them to grow up thinking about others in need, to be charitable, kind & selfless.

For the full blog from West Coast Surrogacy: http://westcoastsurrogacy.blogspot.ca/

It's Like Christmas!

OK, maybe not quite like Christmas... at all, actually...  but I was very excited to get a box in the mail the other day with all of my medication & syringes!! Yes, I know how crazy this makes me sound - but this means that things are finally happening!! It seems like we have forever been signing papers and faxing things back & forth, and now the "fun" stuff can begin! Here it all is:

The reason I have not updated lately is because it has just been boring stuff - mostly legal contracts to process, review & sign. This process took several weeks because the IP's attorney had to draft the contract and have the IPs review, make any necessary changes, then send it to my attorney for me to review, make any necessary changes & sign. The contract included all of the typical things you would expect - the fact that I will not have any parental rights and that I will assist the IPs in obtaining all of their necessary paperwork for legal parental custody of the child. It stated that I give up any rights to make any decisions regarding the child (such as - how to proceed if it tested positive for severe birth defects). It also included financial breakdown (which I will get to at some point) and what I am entitled to as far as life coaching & support. The recent time has also been spent setting up a life insurance policy for me through the surrogacy agency. This only consisted of a 30 minute phone conversation and emailing some necessary health information. Pretty painless.

Speaking of coaching & support, I have also had my first (phone) meeting with the life coach/therapist assigned to me. She was wonderful! I really felt comfortable with her. I will be talking to her at least once a month throughout the whole process and up to 2 months after delivery. She said that she is not only available to coach me through the surrogacy process, but that I can feel free to discuss any other issues with her that I want to. I don't think she knew what she was getting herself into! :) Ha!

So, I will be spending my weekend reading-over the instructions for my shots to start on Sunday 10/30. I have never given myself a shot before, so I am a bit nervous for the first one, although I am sure I will quickly get the hang of it. I will be giving myself a small daily shot of Lupron in the stomach. The larger shots (only a few times throughout the month - Delestrogen & Progesterone) will be in the lower back/upper buttock area and I think Scot will have to help me with those. He is, strangely enough, looking forward to inflicting pain on me with a needle. Thanks, dear. Love ya too. ;)

Telling the Kids

As you can imagine, telling your kids that you will be having a baby that they can't keep to torment as their own little brother or sister can be a bit tricky. We have 3 kids at 3 different ages & comprehension levels.

The oldest (girl) is 12. We told her a few months back when we were still waiting to be matched. We figured she was more likely than the other two to over-hear us talking about it to others and we wanted her to hear it from us first. Since she had already taken those classes we all suffered through in 5th & 6th grades, we knew she'd pick-up on the science behind it all. She quickly grasped the concept and immediately related it to an episode of Modern Family. Can't we all relate to Modern Family at one point or another? Awesome! We checked back with her a few times after to see if she had any other questions. I also talked to her about this blog and she has read parts of it. She asks periodically what the latest news is and when we expect to be "pregnant". She seems excited!

The next one down the line (girl) just turned 6. I broached the subject with her by asking what she would think if Mommy helped another Mommy who had a broken tummy by giving that mommy's baby a cozy home until it was born. She was intrigued and said that yes, that would be pretty cool. She asked how the baby would get into my tummy. (Yikes!) I told her that doctors are super smart and have very special tools to do that. After I told her that we found the couple that we are going to help, she was very excited and was very eager to see their photo. Yay!

The youngest (boy) is 3 and a half. If we brought it up to him now, it would go right over his head. We plan to keep him in the "loop" and talk to him periodically as my belly grows. Someone I spoke to at the Fertility Center told me a cute little analogy to use; "If we saw someone in the grocery store parking lot who had a broken arm, we would help them by carrying their groceries... but this doesn't mean that we'd keep the groceries we carried for them, because they are still theirs." - So cute, I love it!

Now that the kids are on-board, in other news - I have just finished my 1st month of birth control pills and now that the egg donor has been screened (last week), I am assuming she passed and will be getting her cycle in-sync with mine. The fertility center sent me my proposed calendar for all of the meds, blood draws, transfer date, etc. It's pretty crazy. I will have to scan and post below. Looks like we will be starting end of September/early October with meds and a potential transfer date at the end of October!

- Valentine

Can't Say No to Ice Cream

We met the IPs!!

It was 2 weeks ago (Scot and I have been on vacation this week - sorry this post is a bit delayed) but the day came around that we had briefly talked about meeting for the first time if all the tests went well. Since everything was cleared, the agency sent me all of the IP's contact info and sent them the same for me. The IF (Intended Father) emailed me shortly after, worried that he had not made any reservations anywhere. I suggested we do something simple like meet for dessert or ice cream. I thought it would be less pressure than a long dinner for our first meeting... He said he can't say no to ice cream! I couldn't agree more!

San Francisco is known for some darn good ice cream, so we had some options. We were hoping for one that might have a small table to sit and chat. We decided on Bi-Rite Creamery in the Mission District. Parking was a challenge, but we found something a few blocks away and walked down 18th street with butterflies swirling around my stomach. Mostly excited and a bit nervous, we were first to arrive. As we were sitting out front to wait for them, they pulled up and the IM (Intended Mother) hopped out of their car so he could park. Once we were all together, my nerves quickly melted away as I realized how warm and easygoing they were! Conversation came easy and it seemed like we were all excited to get to know one another. We chit-chatted in the long line for our ice cream and then luckily found a cozy table to talk more. We covered all of the basic "where are you from?", "how many siblings do you have?", etc... we swapped stories of our journeys up to this point and even shared some similar frustrations with other surrogacy agencies we had each dealt with prior to finding the one we were matched through. We came to the conclusion that this must have been "meant to be" - and that is exactly what I had been hoping for all along. I knew the right couple would come along at the right time. Funny how things happen that way.

So excited to get this process rolling. They will be using an egg donor, so once they confirm that (last I heard was that they had selected one but it was not finalized), then the donor and I will need to get our cycles in sync using birth control pills. I have been told that the pills, along with all of the other medication I will need to take, will be sent to me. I love getting packages!! :)

Hurry Up, Then Wait... Then Hurry Up Again

Wow, I have not written over three months! That is simply because there was nothing to report for a while... an now, so much has happened in just a few weeks! Just to let you know how the last thing ended (the Chicago couple) - the agency ended up dropping them due to "lack of communication". Maybe they got cold feet? Perhaps they got matched with another agency or were able to adopt. In any case, I suppose it was not meant to be and I hope only the best for them in the future.


Right after that, I was told that there were a few other couples looking at my profile - so, naturally, I got excited.... and then nothing...for almost 2 months. I waited until a 4 weeks ago to write the agency. I always feel like I'm bothering them. I don't want to be a nag. They were very kind and said I was no bother at all. They said they did not have any couples at that time that were close like I had originally wanted, but that they did have 8 other couples still waiting for a match. Those words kept echoing in my head - "8 couples still waiting....". I thought "How long have they been waiting? What if it's been a long time?". Of course, I couldn't let it go, so I asked them to send me some profiles of the IPs that were waiting so we could read them. They sent over 4 different couples - one in Los Angeles (which I thought would be great because it's not too long of a flight), one in Texas, one in Arkansas and one in...... Spain! I barely opened the one from Spain - I knew I would be willing to look further than before - but not THAT far! We started reading the one from the couple in Los Angeles. We decided very quickly that we did not have a good feeling about them because they had barely been together for 2 years. We were hoping for a couple more established & secure. We ended up really liking the couples in Arkansas and Texas! To be honest, we really fell in love with the Arkansas couple, so I told the agency, and after an agonizing week of waiting we were told that they decided to go with a surrogate closer to their area. I was crushed! I had gotten too attached. I then told the agency that we would be willing to talk to the Texas couple. After waiting another week for that response, we thought perhaps we should seek an agency closer to home. When I originally signed-up with this agency in Texas, I was lead to believe that they deal with a lot of IPs from California and it wouldn't be too difficult to be matched, however it was becoming very clear that it might be easier to deal with a local company. I feel terrible that all of the work my coordinators from the Texas agency did is now for nothing, but I hope they understand.


I found a new agency based in Southern California. I filled-out the initial contact form & application. I was emailed almost immediately. Apparently, the head coordinator had just met with some IPs right here in San Francisco! If it worked out that we were a good match, then this had the potential to go really quite well! I filled out the loads of other paperwork and sent photos, etc... things moved rather quickly, which was exciting. We received their profile and really liked them. I was told that they really liked us as well - that we seemed like people they would be friends with anyway! What a good feeling. Soon, a phone interview was set-up with the IPs, the agency coordinator and myself. I was super nervous, but once I got on the call, I felt much better. The IPs were super easy going and I enjoyed their sense of humor. They seemed like they would be fairly laid-back through the whole process - that they would not be breathing down my neck during the pregnancy with instructions or "dos & do not's". We each shared our stories of what brought us to surrogacy and our expectations for the process. We were all excited to take the next few steps.


It was ideal for me to get into the fertility clinic for screening within a week after the phone call because I happened to be within my ovulation window and they needed to check my uterine lining. **If I have now grossed you out, you should probably stop reading this blog. I imagine it can only get worse. :) I gave you all fair warning in my first post - "Disclaimer: I will try to be as honest as possible. This means: A) Discussion of the scientific process behind it all and the female reproductive system - and all that goes along with pregnancy and childbirth..."** - I hope that this blog will be somewhat informational to anyone thinking about being a Surrogate (Gestational Carrier) in the future.


Sooo... after the clinic looked over my medical records and pre-approved me, they called me yesterday (a Thursday) to schedule my appointment. After realizing that the following day (today - a Friday) would be the last day within my ovulation window, they quickly figured out how to squeeze me in. They not only squeezed me in for a 1 hour exam appointment, they configured a 3.5 hour window that allowed me to complete: the 325-or-so questioned psychological exam (tests were normal, by the way - in case you ever wondered about me;)), meet with a live person for a preliminary psych exam, blood & urine tests, nurse consult to explain all of the medicine I will need to take as well as show me how to give myself the shots AND see a doctor for an exam and ultrasound. The doctor also did what they called a "mock embryo transfer". I was told that he simply inserted a catheter to check my uterus and that was exactly how the embryos will be transferred. I did not feel a thing!! All tests looked great and as strange as it sounds, the nurse was actually very excited about the thickness of my uterine lining. I never thought I would be proud of my uterine lining. Giving myself a firm pat on the back for that one.


Next up: 
- blood tests for Scot 
- fasting glucose test for me
- wait for the agency to exchange contact info between the IPs and myself (they were waiting until all of my tests from today came back clear - just so we didn't start forming a relationship in case there was a problem and then get let down)
- wait for the IPs to find an egg donor