38 Weeks - Countdown Is On!

In exactly 1 week, the parents will finally get to hold their sweet baby girl!! I can't believe this journey has almost come to an end! It went by so fast!

I finished up my last day at work last week and I'm looking forward to a huge chunk of Summer with time off to spend with my family! I really could not have planned this better, timing-wise. After recovering for a couple of weeks and trying to pump as much milk for them as I can, we are taking a 2-week family road trip (are we crazy?!) to Disneyland, Palm Springs & Utah. Seeing lots of extended family in PS & Utah will be a blast!

Speaking of pumping, the parents bought me a super fancy Hands-free Double Breast Pump. I opened it today to wash & sterilize everything - it kinda felt like Christmas!

The last few doctors appointments have been smooth & normal. We have just one more to go before the tentative induction date (still next Wednesday - 7/10). At the last one 2 days ago, I was only 1 cm dilated and not much effaced. I am still feeling really good and not terribly uncomfortable. Braxton Hicks contractions are getting a little more intense, but still very sporadic. Sometimes they come once an hour for a while, but then I won't feel one for several hours. My feet are very swollen, which I am used to happening with my other pregnancies in the last month. It's not easy to keep them elevated when I have my own kids, laundry, etc. to attend to. They aren't even recognizable as feet. I said to my loving husband "Look at my feet!" and his response was "Is that what you call those?". :)

I got to see a lot of the parents the last few weeks I was at work - they actually checked in to my hotel for almost 2 weeks! Their "make room for baby" re-organizing project turned into a bigger construction project than they had anticipated (as those things tend to go). It was fun to see so much of them and I'm sure they really enjoyed seeing the belly every day too.

Leaving you with a belly shot - many people tell me I look like I'm carrying on the small side. I feel about the same as I did with my own two, and they were 7.5 lbs & 7.3 lbs.

38 Weeks

I'll be writing again within the week, I'm sure!

~Valentine

34 Weeks!

40 - 34 = 6!! Goodness, it's getting down to the wire!! Especially since the plan is to induce 6 days early, it's actually only 5 more weeks, not 6! I can't even believe it! It doesn't feel like this journey should be coming to an end so soon. I really feel like we were just starting this process.

I have had 2 appointments since I last posted (I'm going every 2 weeks now) - the last one was earlier this week. After the next appointment, I will then go every week. Everything is progressing normally! I wish this were more exciting, but there is really nothing to report since things are "right on track".

The parents are getting everything in order at their place - apparently there is some light construction of closet organization & making a room into a nursery. How exciting!! I am hoping that I still get a nesting instinct kicking in - I have lots of things that need organizing at my house - I could use the extra boost!

They are still in the middle of the big name debate. I am greatful that I don't have that responsibility this time! I remember feeling a lot of pressure when naming my own - it's a huge responsibility and the child will have to live with it for the rest of their lives! Scot & I definitely had some differences of opinion on a few names, but thankfully we did like at least 2 of the same ones. :)

I get this question a lot - "Would you do this again?" and my response is always "Yes, I would. This has been such an amazing, positive experience so far, I would happily do it again.". If my current parents wanted a sibling, I would do it for them again in a heartbeat. If not, I am not sure how long I would wait to start the process again - I imagine I would want a "break" after, but I have heard from other ladies in my Surrogate's support group that they start the paperwork almost immediately after. I found this interesting and thought that the reason must be because it is such an exciting process that gets built up so much and then it's just suddenly over for the surrogate. I asked my case worker at the agency about that and she agreed - saying that it's much like planning your wedding... there is so much planning, build-up & excitement, then it's just over - leaving you feeling like "Now what?". I definitely felt that after my wedding! I was so sad that it was over! I would do it all over again if we could afford it. :) I suppose I will know when the time is right or when the right couple comes along.

Thanks for reading! Here are some belly shots!

Valentine

Article - 'Understanding The Costs of Surrogacy"

Just thought I would share this informative article - the Director of my agency as well as my Case Worker were both interviewed.

http://mom.me/parenting/7302-understanding-costs-surrogacy/?p=1

30 Weeks!!

Today is the 30 week mark!! I can't believe how fast this is actually moving!

At our last check-up, I had the 1-hour glucose test that determines if I have Gestational Diabetes. For those not familiar: you go to a lab, they give you this super sweet orange drink that you have to down within 5 minutes (yuck!), then you have to sit there for 1 hour. They then draw your blood to check the amount of glucose in your blood. I have had GD before (very slightly) with my 1st pregnancy. With my other pregnancies, I did the 1-hour glucose test first thing in the morning after fasting for 8-12 hours. For this time around, they told me to do the glucose test at my normal check-up, which was at 2:00 in the afternoon. They said I did not need to fast. I thought that was strange, but I went with it. I had a light lunch about 2 hours before my appointment. Sure enough, when they got the results back, my glucose level was too high so they wanted me to go back to a lab and do a 3-hour glucose test. 3 HOURS!

This time I fasted for 12 hours. I made an appointment for 8:15am at a lab near my eldest girl's school - which is the farthest from our home, about 10-15 minutes away; this gave me enough time to drop all the kids off at school, yet it was early enough so that I could eat something when the test was done before noon and still pick-up my son from preschool. I prepared. I packed snacks for after the test. I packed books to read and journals to write in. I got the kids up early and dropped them off at school 15 minutes earlier than normal to ensure I was not late for my appointment. I walked-in right on time.... and then I realized I forgot my lab slip at home. DOH! By the time I sped (and by sped, I mean drive very carefully within the legal limits and obey all traffic laws) home, got my slip, sped back to the lab & checked-in, it had been 45 minutes. It was now 9:00am and they had other patients in front of me. Surely patients who were on time for their appointments. Before they gave me the gross sugar drink they had to take my fasting blood draw. By the time they did that and then I finished the drink, it was 9:15am. This was the official start-time of the test. This determined that they would draw my blood every hour for 3 hours at exactly 15 minutes past the top of the hour. This also meant that I lost a whole entire hour because I forgot the lab slip at home. One hour does not sound like a big deal, but when you are pregnant and have already been fasting for 12 hours, this matters! This also meant that I wouldn't be done until 12:15 and preschool ended at 12:00. Luckily, the preschool was okay with me being late. I was mad at myself, but there was nothing I could do about it. I waited, I read, I wrote, I Facebooked, I Pinterest-ed. I was forced to listen to an elderly woman and her son talk about her stool samples... in detail. Finally, after both of my arms were nice & bruised, I was released. After 16 hours of not eating, my granola bar tasted like heaven.... wait, I lie. I think I inhaled it too fast to even taste it.

So a week later, I had not heard from the doctor's office. I called for my results and was told that technically, I passed the test. PHEW! They said that one of my four blood draws was on the high side, but that in order to be diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, two needed to be high. So, I don't have GD but I should still be careful about what I eat. I just need to watch my refined & natural sugar intake and up my protein & fiber.

I saw that acupuncturist I mentioned in my last post (I was "gifted" 5 sessions) this morning! I can already tell a difference in my allergies and she said the problem in my back is so compressed and been there for so long (pregnancy didn't cause it, just makes it more noticeable) that it can be fixed, but will take a bit longer. She said I need to up my water intake & she also said I need more protien... red meat in particular - so I had a burger for lunch!

In other news, the parents came over a few weeks ago for dinner to meet our kids! The kids had really been looking forward to this - who were these mysterious people that were keeping their baby in Mommy's tummy?! Although our 3 kids (all different ages & comprehension levels) understood this process for the most part, I think it just helped them to put faces to who the baby belongs to. We had such a great visit and wonderful conversation. The kids really felt at ease and they were trying to show off their best tricks & toys. :) After the parents left, the kids said how nice they thought the parents were. I even asked our 4yo boy "Do you think they will be a good Mommy & Daddy to their baby in my tummy?" - he replied "Yes, they will be nice!". I feel blessed that the parents understand how important it is for my kids to feel involved.

Here are some belly shots from this morning...

I also wanted to leave you with a few recent news articles about surrogacy... I get alerted about surrogacy in the news from my agency and other resources that I have "liked" on Facebook. Just some interesting reads, if you are so inclined... :)

http://www.bakersfieldcalifornian.com/local/x1198347530/Surrogacy-trending-up-over-last-decade

http://celebritybabies.people.com/2013/04/30/surrogacy-kara-dioguardi-brca2-diagnosis-exclusive/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2320253/Im-going-birth-grandchild-Grandmother-49-offers-surrogate-27-year-old-cancer-survivor-daughter.html?ico=health%5Eheadlines

Thanks for reading!

Valentine :)

25 weeks!

Wow! I can't believe it's already 6+ months! Time is going way fast!

Things are going really well - I actually have no real updates! The last doc appointment was quick and easy, all was looking healthy & normal. The next check-up will be in a week or two and that is when I will also do the glucose test. I did have very slight gestational diabetes with my first pregnancy, but corrected only with diet change. I was free & clear with my second, so I hope this one will be the same!

I continue to be blessed when least expected. I have been feeling this knot in the middle of my back that must be pinching a nerve or something. For some reason, it creates this numb spot directly opposite it on the top of my belly. I had it with my last pregnancy too. It is mostly painful when I'm sitting at work or in the car. I had just been complaining yesterday to my darling hubby (thanks for listening honey!) that it was bugging me. Today at work, I saw these wonderful repeat guests that I have known for a long while. They come to the city for this Acupuncturist that they swear by - the wife has been seeing her for years, but most recently before & after her chemo treatments (which they fly to Chicago for). This couple has sought out only the best in both Eastern & Western medicine. Out of the blue, they decided to "gift" me 5 sessions with their Acupuncturist! They didn't even know about my weird knot pain! So very sweet of them - I am excited!

I will leave you with some belly shots... :)

Easter Morning 3-31-13

Before Work Party 4-1-13

Pink or Blue??

We are officially at 21 weeks! Over half-way there! I must take this opportunity to point out: why have people been lying to women for years?? 9 months "my behind"! A full-term pregnancy is 40 weeks. Math was never my best subject, but something doesn't quite add-up.... :)

We had our "BIG" 20 week ultrasound about a week and a half ago! This was a huge milestone for a few different reasons. It was the last big screening test for several abnormalities and neurological disorders. It was the big test that the parents were anxiously waiting for until they could finally relax a bit and enjoy the pregnancy! They have been so nervous for every appointment up to this point. I wanted so badly for them to be able to breathe easy and enjoy it a long time ago, but I can not imagine the heartache and disappointment they have faced in their past with multiple failures. I am sure that they learned the hard way to not get their hopes up too early. Thankfully, everything came out clear! Got a few great shots during the measurements:

Look at those teeny toes!!

This was also the appointment that they could find out the sex! Since I was wrong with both of my own, I was not about to guess the sex of the baby in my womb that I had no blood relations to. My first was a surprise... I was convinced that I was having a boy. I had boy dreams. I even bought boy clothes. You guessed it, she was a girl. I thought my husband was playing a cruel joke on me after she came out. :) We found out with our second only because we were in the process of moving. Even before the ultrasound technician revealed our boy, I had no idea either way.

We all held our breath and waited for the baby to open it's legs enough to get an absolute confirmation. It was being a little shy at first. :) Finally, a good shot!

A Girl!! 

This shot is looking from the bottom-up. Her legs 

are on the right, her bum is on the left.

Going into the appointment, the parents were saying that they didn't care either way and only wished for a healthy baby, naturally... but every parent knows that sometimes, you are really secretly hoping for one or the other. After the girl was revealed, the mom started crying and said she really did want a girl! Even the dad said he had kind of hoped for a girl from the beginning although he was also thinking a boy would be really fun, too. I am so happy that this is turning into a dream-come-true for them!

As for me, I am feeling great. Now that I am definitely showing, I am getting a lot more people saying "congrats" or asking questions. I work in a hotel and interact with guests on a daily basis. If the guest "congratulating" me is in passing or unfamiliar to me, I just say "thank you". It don't need to go into the whole story for someone I am never going to see again. A lot of the guests I see are repeats, though, so it's really fun to tell them the story. I know I will see them again and again, and they are excited to follow me on this journey. I have been showered with praise, hugged and kissed. I have brought some to tears. It is such an amazing feeling to touch people in such a unique way.

Thanks for reading! :)
Valentine

15 Weeks & Counting...

My apologies for not updating sooner, however Blogger was apparently having some technical difficulty and I was not able to upload the below photos. I felt they were very important to this update so I waited until it was resolved!

2 weeks ago we had the Integrated Screening that is done at the end of the first trimester. This is an ultrasound examination to measure the amount of fluid accumulation behind the baby’s neck (nuchal translucency) in conjunction with blood work from me. This prenatal test (also called the NT or nuchal fold scan) can help the doctors assess the baby's risk of having Down Syndrome and some other chromosomal abnormalities as well as major congenital heart problems.

We got the results a week later and they all came back clear! The Ultrasound Technician also had said that all of the measurements looked perfectly normal! The baby was moving around quite a bit (I can't quite feel it yet) and we got some great shots!

3D! It's hands/arms are covering the face. See the little feet?!

About a week after those results came back, we had a routine check-up at the OB's office. This time, the mother was able to come!! She had not been to an appointment since the transfer due to her work schedule, so this was very exciting!! She got emotional and started crying when she saw how much my belly was showing! So sweet. Appointment went well... everything on-track.

I am officially in Maternity clothes - even at work. I really need to start updating the blog with belly shots! Here's one from this morning that I sent to the parents:

Signing off... have a great day!

Valentine



Happy New Year!

My 2013 will be a great year filled with new beginnings, fun journeys & lots of love!! Now that the holidays are over, I feel that I finally have time to update the blog. :)

I must share with you an awesome bumper sticker I received from my brother for Christmas. Ha! Love it.

I am technically at 11 weeks now. There has not been any recent appointments, except for meeting my new OB a few weeks ago, which went very well. She was super sweet and warm, I liked her a lot. She also did an ultrasound, but the image was not as good as the ones we have received from the Fertility Clinic up to this point. I do go into a different office next week for what they call a 12 week integrated screening. This is standard for all pregnancies (I remember having one when I was pregnant with my son in 2008). The Integrated Screen will detect up to 92% of babies affected with Down Syndrome and up to 90% with Trisomy 18. It will also detect up to 80% of babies that have open neural tube defects such as Spina Bifida.

I will have to start updating the blog with bump pictures soon! I am already starting to show - and actually have been for a week or two. I am at the point where I am too big for my regular clothes, but don't quite look right in maternity clothes. I'm perfectly fine in sweats. :)

Will update next week after the appointment & with a bump photo!

Valentine

9 week Ultrasound & Graduation!!

Woo Hoo! Another milestone passed!

Today was the 9 week ultrasound at the fertility center. My case worker from the surrogacy agency was able to fly up for the appointment, which was exciting because I hadn't met her yet. We have done quite a bit of chatting, emailing & texting with all sorts of random questions that I have had since this started. She has been such a great help - not only because that's her job - but she has a ton of experience as well. She just completed her 3rd surrogacy (she delivered just 3 weeks ago!) so the girl knows her stuff. :) She is also super sweet & easy to talk to! We met for lunch before the appointment to catch-up.

The father was there today as well. We were able to call the mother again so that she could hear the heartbeat on speaker phone & ask the doctor any questions. Side note: typing "heartbeat" above just reminded me of when my daughter (now 6) used to say "heartbeep". So cute.

The doctor doing the ultrasound determined that everything looked good & healthy. We were able to see the head & body forming with the umbilical cord attached. The baby was even wiggling around a little bit! The father took an USB home again and I asked for a few pictures printed.

Heartbeat

Here, you can see the umbilical cord forming. Note the head is on top &

it is curled into a ball (facing left). The cord looks like it is coming out

from the feet, traveling left.

The bubble near the baby's head is what's left of the yolk sac,

which is what was providing nutrition but is now diminishing

because of the developing umbilical cord.

After today, we graduate to a regular OBGYN. The parents have asked me if I would consider switching my OB to one in the same network as the hospital that the mother works at. This way, she could possibly be more available in the future for appointments (and delivery time!) and she can be sure that I'm getting the best care. I liked my previous OB group, but I was not married to them so I said sure! I see the new doctor next Tuesday for the first time.

After the appointment today, the nurse gave the father a "graduation" gift - a book called "The Joy of Pregnancy" and a little onesie with the fertility clinic's logo that reads "Made In San Francisco"! Sooo cute!

Until next time...

Valentine :)

7 Week Ultrasound!

All is well!

Went in for the 7 week ultrasound today. Scot was in the waiting room with our son and we had the IF (Intended Father) - but I'm just going to say "Father & Mother" from now on - IF & IM sound too impersonal. So, we had the father in the room as well as my life coach from the surrogacy agency - she flew in from LA just for the appointment! It was great to meet her in person.

They measured that I was at 6 weeks & 6 days - perfectly normal. We were able to see and hear the tiny heart beat! We even saw the itty bitty head & body forming. I don't think I had ultrasounds this early with my own, so it was amazing to see it in such small form! The clinic gave the father a USB of the images and I asked them to print me a couple as well. :) Here are my souvenirs:

 In the above shot, the curser shows the lenth of the body. The baby's head is

at the top curser (below the "CRL").



Here is the heart beat! Hearing this is always so amazing! However, seeing the heart on the

untrasound screen beating was extra special. :)

The father was so super excited! Unfortunately, the mother could not get out of work, but we had her on speaker phone so she could hear the heart beat and ask any questions.

I go back in 2 weeks for a 9 week ultrasound. Once all is good with that one, I will be released from the fertility center to an OB.

Until then!

Valentine

Surrogate Brunch

I had the pleasure of attending a brunch yesterday organized by my surrogacy agency to get other surrogates together & share stories.

In attendance, there were 7 of us. The Founder & Director of the agency, 5 other surrogates & myself. Two of the surrogates had recently delivered, two had just started the process and not been matched yet and the other one was just over 20 weeks pregnant.

It was fun to hear the stories of the two women that had already given birth - their ups & downs of the entire experience as well as how it all came to a conclusion. I learned that much like my own births, there is a lot that can not be controlled as things progress, which can be tricky - especially now that multiple opinions in the mix. I felt blessed with my experience so far after hearing that other people have to deal with things like distance & language barriers... even though that's what they chose in the first place.

All in all, it was a great experience to meet & get together with other surrogates!

Valentine

Seeing Double!

So the second blood test was yesterday and they had said that the goal was to see that hCG number double - and it did - plus a little more! The original hCG number was 159 and yesterday's was 331. We're on the right track! Technically, this is week 4 of pregnancy.

I have been feeling really good! Hardly any yucky pregnancy symptoms, but it's still early. I have noticed a heightened sense of smell and only slight nausea occasionally. I never had "morning sickness" with my other two pregnancies (so lucky!) so hopefully this one goes just as smooth! :)

The next step is an ultrasound at 7 weeks, which will be the week after Thanksgiving.

I will be in touch!

Valentine

This just in!!

This feels strange telling people so early-on, because my husband and I waited a few months with our own pregnancies to tell the world... but since I have decided to tell my whole story here, for better or worse, I can't exactly lie dormant for the next couple of months...

WE'RE PREGNANT!! Wooooo Hooooo!!!!!! :)

Today was the first official blood test. The IPs didn't know this at the time (they do now), but I did 6 days of home tests (patience is not my strong point) with the last one being yesterday - the day before the blood test. The last 4 of the 6 were positive, so I had a pretty good feeling going into the blood test. :)

The nurses at the clinic had said that we were looking for an hCG level of at least 50-100 and ours was at 159! HCG is the "pregnancy hormone" that doubles about every 48-72 hours early in pregnancy. For this reason, I will go back to the lab in 2 days for a re-test. This increase will show that the baby is growing normally.

I was chatting with the IF (Intended Father, in case you're new here) over text right after we both found out and I could tell they were giddy with excitement! Such a great feeling!!

It's still very early, but enjoying every success and milestone!!

Will let you know how the next blood test goes!

Valentine

Ta-Da!

Whelp, it's in there! 

We were excited & anxious early this morning as we put the kids in the car still in their jammies and dropped them off at my friend's house. Awesome friend for waking up before dawn on a Sunday so I can drop my rug-rats off! It was strange being at the clinic on a Sunday. The rest of the building (shared office space) and most of the city is pretty sleepy that early on Sundays. Anyway, we checked-in, got settled in the room and I waited under a cozy blanket.

 

... and Scot was feeling left out...  

The IPs arrived and it was so nice to see their faces! The nurse came in and put an ultrasound wand on my tummy so we could watch the embryo being implanted! Watching it was so surreal - the whole room was silent! Once they pushed it in, they took a picture & handed it to the IM. I turned around and they handed me one too! Yay!

I added the arrow and circle to show you where it is. I apologize for my artistic ability on the computer. :)

The nurse explained some "dos & don'ts" and said I should lay there for 5 minutes, so we chit chatted with the IPs for a bit. I can't imagine how they must feel! I would be so overwhelmed with emotion!

Now at home, I'm taking it easy & spending my day like Phoebe - 

Down to the wire!

Well, I got the appointment time for the day 5 transfer - 8:00am TOMORROW! Woo Hoo! When I was there on Tuesday to get my final check, they had already extracted the donor's eggs and the nurse told me that they got a lot of eggs, which was great, so it looked more likely for a day 5 transfer. I was not really counting on the day 3 transfer. Instructions for the appointment are just to arrive 15 minutes early and come with a half-full bladder. They said it should take no more than 30 minutes.

I have a high tolerance for pain, but boy, am I sore! Up to a few days ago, the injections had been going fine. I had no side effects and they really weren't painful. Then I started progesterone and now I know why anyone who has gone through IVF looks at me with a sympathetic eye when we talk about the shots! The injections leave me sore in the "upper bum" area - sore to the touch like a huge bruise, sore to sit, lay & walk. We alternate sides each day, but they never really heal in-between so it's a constant uncomfort. The medicine creates these "knots" under the skin and the nurse said they can be massaged but it hurts to touch it too much. I'm not trying to complain for sympathy's sake, but just to give anyone who has never gone through it an honest report. :)

I am so excited for tomorrow! Slightly nervous, but mostly excited! I keep thinking how surreal it all is and how it seems like it took forever to get to this point (so much more so for the IPs!) yet I can't believe it's already here! It's strange to actually know I will walk out of the clinic totally changed. My contact (case worker) at the agency has been checking in with me and she said something so beautiful (she has been a surrogate before and is now pregnant for another set of IPs) - she said "I love transfers - they are so beautiful, its the most amazing feeling when those embryos are brought into the room and you know it's life being put into you body." That gave me chills!

The IPs will be at the transfer as well as my amazing husband, Scot. Today is his birthday and I'm sure there's nothing he would rather do on his birthday weekend besides take care of me on light bed rest for a whole day. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY!! LOVE YOU! :)

Big Week!

Big things are happening here! As we get closer to the Transfer Day there has been a lot more monitoring. I have had several vials of blood taken from my arm to make sure my dosage of the meds are on-track as well as a few trips in the good ol' stirrups to check my uterine lining. Last check was Friday and I go again tomorrow (Tuesday). When I went on Friday the doctor said that anything over "8" was good. Not sure what "8" exactly measures, but I was at 14.4!! Woo hoo!

Look at that cute bootie over the stirrup. :) 

I was told to take my last dose of Lupron last night and to start Progesterone tonight. Progesterone supports the lining of the uterus and is needed to maintain an early pregnancy.

I will probably be more informed tomorrow in detail, but what I have been told so far is that they are extracting the donor's eggs tomorrow and they will be fertilized tomorrow as well. They will do either a day 3 transfer or a day 5 transfer. From what I understand, if the embryos are weak at day 3, they will want to go ahead and transfer them right away... if they are strong, then they will wait 2 more days and transfer 5 days after fertilization. From what I have read, many doctors believe that chances of a successful pregnancy are good for either day. 

And... just for a laugh... I saw this on Pinterest and couldn't resist. :)

"...we are all connected"

I just wanted to share this excerpt from the blog of my surrogacy agency; West Coast Surrogacy (whom I love, by the way). This was posted on the recent anniversary of 9/11 and it really touched me. This describes exactly how I feel about why I am doing what I am doing.

Maybe it's because we've all been through a rough ride together the past few years.  Maybe it is the lingering effects of our shared wound from September 11.  Maybe it is concern for the care of our planet and its citizens.  Whatever the reason, people are helping people more than ever.

David Handschuh/News--From New York Daily News Online

Take gestational surrogacy.  Despite what may be portrayed in popular culture and also tossed around as theory ("Selfish celebs use surrogates to save their own bodies!") we have found in talking to the women who call or write our office, interested to know about being a surrogate, that their motivation is to help someone.  They found it easy and so rewarding to become pregnant and to carry their own children.  They are moved by what they see and hear from other women who can't become pregnant, can't carry a baby to term, and can't create the family they always dreamed of.  And they want to help.

Today, on the anniversary of the tragedy of September 11, we reflect on what we experienced when those towers fell.  We remember the people who lost their lives.  We are grateful for what we have and we practice random acts of kindness to those who have less.  We acknowledge that we are all connected.

One hope I have in taking this journey is that it will teach my children to be empathetic & benevolent. I want them to grow up thinking about others in need, to be charitable, kind & selfless.

For the full blog from West Coast Surrogacy: http://westcoastsurrogacy.blogspot.ca/

It's Like Christmas!

OK, maybe not quite like Christmas... at all, actually...  but I was very excited to get a box in the mail the other day with all of my medication & syringes!! Yes, I know how crazy this makes me sound - but this means that things are finally happening!! It seems like we have forever been signing papers and faxing things back & forth, and now the "fun" stuff can begin! Here it all is:

The reason I have not updated lately is because it has just been boring stuff - mostly legal contracts to process, review & sign. This process took several weeks because the IP's attorney had to draft the contract and have the IPs review, make any necessary changes, then send it to my attorney for me to review, make any necessary changes & sign. The contract included all of the typical things you would expect - the fact that I will not have any parental rights and that I will assist the IPs in obtaining all of their necessary paperwork for legal parental custody of the child. It stated that I give up any rights to make any decisions regarding the child (such as - how to proceed if it tested positive for severe birth defects). It also included financial breakdown (which I will get to at some point) and what I am entitled to as far as life coaching & support. The recent time has also been spent setting up a life insurance policy for me through the surrogacy agency. This only consisted of a 30 minute phone conversation and emailing some necessary health information. Pretty painless.

Speaking of coaching & support, I have also had my first (phone) meeting with the life coach/therapist assigned to me. She was wonderful! I really felt comfortable with her. I will be talking to her at least once a month throughout the whole process and up to 2 months after delivery. She said that she is not only available to coach me through the surrogacy process, but that I can feel free to discuss any other issues with her that I want to. I don't think she knew what she was getting herself into! :) Ha!

So, I will be spending my weekend reading-over the instructions for my shots to start on Sunday 10/30. I have never given myself a shot before, so I am a bit nervous for the first one, although I am sure I will quickly get the hang of it. I will be giving myself a small daily shot of Lupron in the stomach. The larger shots (only a few times throughout the month - Delestrogen & Progesterone) will be in the lower back/upper buttock area and I think Scot will have to help me with those. He is, strangely enough, looking forward to inflicting pain on me with a needle. Thanks, dear. Love ya too. ;)

Telling the Kids

As you can imagine, telling your kids that you will be having a baby that they can't keep to torment as their own little brother or sister can be a bit tricky. We have 3 kids at 3 different ages & comprehension levels.

The oldest (girl) is 12. We told her a few months back when we were still waiting to be matched. We figured she was more likely than the other two to over-hear us talking about it to others and we wanted her to hear it from us first. Since she had already taken those classes we all suffered through in 5th & 6th grades, we knew she'd pick-up on the science behind it all. She quickly grasped the concept and immediately related it to an episode of Modern Family. Can't we all relate to Modern Family at one point or another? Awesome! We checked back with her a few times after to see if she had any other questions. I also talked to her about this blog and she has read parts of it. She asks periodically what the latest news is and when we expect to be "pregnant". She seems excited!

The next one down the line (girl) just turned 6. I broached the subject with her by asking what she would think if Mommy helped another Mommy who had a broken tummy by giving that mommy's baby a cozy home until it was born. She was intrigued and said that yes, that would be pretty cool. She asked how the baby would get into my tummy. (Yikes!) I told her that doctors are super smart and have very special tools to do that. After I told her that we found the couple that we are going to help, she was very excited and was very eager to see their photo. Yay!

The youngest (boy) is 3 and a half. If we brought it up to him now, it would go right over his head. We plan to keep him in the "loop" and talk to him periodically as my belly grows. Someone I spoke to at the Fertility Center told me a cute little analogy to use; "If we saw someone in the grocery store parking lot who had a broken arm, we would help them by carrying their groceries... but this doesn't mean that we'd keep the groceries we carried for them, because they are still theirs." - So cute, I love it!

Now that the kids are on-board, in other news - I have just finished my 1st month of birth control pills and now that the egg donor has been screened (last week), I am assuming she passed and will be getting her cycle in-sync with mine. The fertility center sent me my proposed calendar for all of the meds, blood draws, transfer date, etc. It's pretty crazy. I will have to scan and post below. Looks like we will be starting end of September/early October with meds and a potential transfer date at the end of October!

- Valentine

Can't Say No to Ice Cream

We met the IPs!!

It was 2 weeks ago (Scot and I have been on vacation this week - sorry this post is a bit delayed) but the day came around that we had briefly talked about meeting for the first time if all the tests went well. Since everything was cleared, the agency sent me all of the IP's contact info and sent them the same for me. The IF (Intended Father) emailed me shortly after, worried that he had not made any reservations anywhere. I suggested we do something simple like meet for dessert or ice cream. I thought it would be less pressure than a long dinner for our first meeting... He said he can't say no to ice cream! I couldn't agree more!

San Francisco is known for some darn good ice cream, so we had some options. We were hoping for one that might have a small table to sit and chat. We decided on Bi-Rite Creamery in the Mission District. Parking was a challenge, but we found something a few blocks away and walked down 18th street with butterflies swirling around my stomach. Mostly excited and a bit nervous, we were first to arrive. As we were sitting out front to wait for them, they pulled up and the IM (Intended Mother) hopped out of their car so he could park. Once we were all together, my nerves quickly melted away as I realized how warm and easygoing they were! Conversation came easy and it seemed like we were all excited to get to know one another. We chit-chatted in the long line for our ice cream and then luckily found a cozy table to talk more. We covered all of the basic "where are you from?", "how many siblings do you have?", etc... we swapped stories of our journeys up to this point and even shared some similar frustrations with other surrogacy agencies we had each dealt with prior to finding the one we were matched through. We came to the conclusion that this must have been "meant to be" - and that is exactly what I had been hoping for all along. I knew the right couple would come along at the right time. Funny how things happen that way.

So excited to get this process rolling. They will be using an egg donor, so once they confirm that (last I heard was that they had selected one but it was not finalized), then the donor and I will need to get our cycles in sync using birth control pills. I have been told that the pills, along with all of the other medication I will need to take, will be sent to me. I love getting packages!! :)