Like a Katy Perry song...

Yes. No. Hot. Cold. In. Out. Up. Down... Oh, how things change quickly! A couple of weeks ago, the agency sent me a link to update my profile because they had switched their whole database over to a new version on-line. There was just one or two new pages to fill out... but difficult questions! "What's your philosophy on life?" and "What do you like about yourself?"... those types of questions are so hard to answer without over-thinking it! Anyway, I filled it out and sent the application back. The program director responded and asked if I was ever able to review that profile for the Chicago couple she had sent me. I almost responded immediately to remind her that I had said no... then I got to thinking - maybe her asking me again was a sign? She went on to say that they actually prefer a California surrogate and that their clinic (perhaps they already have eggs or embryos frozen?) is in Oregon. Well, I have family in Oregon that just had a baby! Another excuse to visit them is always wonderful... Scot and I have also never been to Chicago... perhaps going out there to see where they live would be a good excuse. :) I decided to re-read their profile and I paid closer attention this time. She is a nurse, he is in statistics. She plans on taking the first year off work. I liked that. I noted that they have been together/married for 20 years! At 47 & 50 years old, they have been looking for a surrogate for a while now. What if they were running out of "time" and I was one of their last hopes? If I didn't help them, who would? I decided not to be so selfish in waiting for a couple who lives closer. I responded to my agency with "I'm taking this as a sign, so if my response is 'yes', what is the next step?" They said that they would re-send my profile to them to see what they say.

I'm excited; anxious. I half-way expect an email back that day. I look at my phone every half hour or so. In my mind, they get the news they have been waiting for - that a surrogate is interested in helping them - and they jump to quickly respond and get the ball rolling with excitement. This does not happen.... for several days. No email. Nothing is rolling. Sigh...

About a week later, Scot mentions that he might be concerned I'm scaring people off with my desire to stay connected and get updates through the child's life. He thinks maybe more people prefer to break ties at the end. I just can't imagine forming this special bond with the parents and the baby inside me then never speak to them or hear from them again. The Chicago couple was open to continue contact. I decide to ask the agency coordinator. I emailed her to see how crazy I was for wanting to continue contact and I also mentioned the Chicago couple to see how long I should expect to wait to hear back. She responded quickly and said that she also thought it was strange she hadn't heard back from them. She had just sent them a follow-up email and assumed they were on vacation or something. She was going to give them one more week and then put them on "hold" for matching. She then said that the agency actually requires contact and updates for the first year of the child's life and that in most cases, people do continue that. So I'm not crazy! :)